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But I didn't say or do anything. It was partly, I suppose, that I was <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> so floored by the fact that Ruth would come out with such a trick. I remember a huge tiredness coming over me, a kind of lethargy in the face of  <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap beats by dre</em></a> the tangled mess before me. It was like being given a maths problem when your brain's exhausted, and you know there's some far-off solution, but you can't work up the <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> energy even to give it a go. Something in me just gave up. A voice went: "All right, let him think the absolute worst. Let him think it, let him <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> think it." And I suppose I looked at him with resignation, with a face that said: "Yes, it's true, what else did you expect?" And I can recall now, as <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> fresh as anything, Tommy's own face, the anger receding for the moment, being replaced by an expression almost of wonder, like I was a rare butterfly he'd come across on <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>discount dre headphone</em></a> a fence-post.

It wasn't that I thought I'd burst into tears or lose my temper or anything like that. But I decided just to turn and go. Even later that day, <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>monster beats sale</em></a> I realised this was a bad mistake. All I can say is that at the time what I feared more than anything was that one or the other of them <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> would stalk off first, and I'd be left with the remaining one. I don't know why, but it didn't seem an option for more than one of us to storm <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> off, and I wanted to make sure that one was me. So I turned and marched back the way I'd come, past the gravestones towards the low wooden gate, and <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> for several minutes, I felt as though I'd triumphed; that now they'd been left in each other's company, they were suffering a fate they thoroughly deserved.

As I've said, it wasn't <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> until a long time afterwards--long after I'd left the Cottages--that I realised just how significant our little encounter in the churchyard had been. I was upset at the time, yes. <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> But I didn't believe it to be anything so different from other tiffs we'd had. It never occurred to me that our lives, until then so closely interwoven, could unravel <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>discount dre headphone</em></a> and separate over a thing like that.

But the fact was, I suppose, there were powerful tides tugging us apart by then, and it only needed something like that to finish  <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap beats by dre</em></a> the task. If we'd understood that back then--who knows?--maybe we'd have kept a tighter hold of one another.

For one thing, more and more students were going off to be carers, <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> and among our old Hailsham crowd, there was a growing feeling this was the natural course to follow. We still had our essays to finish, but it was well known <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> we didn't really have to finish them if we chose to start our training. In our early days at the Cottages, the idea of not finishing our essays would have  <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap beats by dre</em></a> been unthinkable. But the more distant Hailsham grew, the less important the essays seemed. I had this idea at the time--and I was probably right--that if our sense of the <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>monster beats sale</em></a> essays being important was allowed to seep away, then so too would whatever bound us together as Hailsham students. That's why I tried for a while to keep going our  <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap beats by dre</em></a> enthusiasm for all the reading and note-taking. But with no reason to suppose we'd ever see our guardians again, and with so many students moving on, it soon began to <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> feel like a lost cause.

Anyway, in the days after that talk in the churchyard, I did what I could to put it behind us. I behaved towards both Tommy and <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> Ruth as though nothing special had occurred, and they did much the same. But there was always something there now, and it wasn't just between me and them. Though they <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>monster beats sale</em></a> still made a show of being a couple--they still did the punching-on-the-arm thing when they parted--I knew them well enough to see they'd grown quite distant from each other.

Of course <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>monster beats sale</em></a> I felt bad about it all, especially about Tommy's animals. But it wasn't as simple any more as going to him and saying sorry and explaining how things really were. <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>monster beats sale</em></a> A few years earlier, even six months earlier, it might have worked out that way. Tommy and I would have talked it over and sorted it out. But somehow, by <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> that second summer, things were different. Maybe it was because of this relationship with Lenny, I don't know. Anyway, talking to Tommy wasn't so easy any more. On the surface, <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> at least, it was much like before, but we never mentioned the animals or what had happened in the churchyard.

So that was what had been happening just before I had <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dr dre beats</em></a> that conversation with Ruth in the old bus shelter, when I got so annoyed with her for pretending to forget about the rhubarb patch at Hailsham. Like I said, I'd <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> probably not have got nearly so cross if it hadn't come up in the middle of such a serious conversation. Okay, we'd got through a lot of the meat of <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap dre headphone</em></a> it by then, but even so, even if we were just easing off and chatting by that point, that was still all part of our trying to sort things with  <a href=" http://www.cheapdreheadphone.com/"><em><strong>cheap beats by dre</em></a> each other, and there was no room for any pretend stuff like that.